


Phindin' Love in Philly

by ceralynn



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-10
Updated: 2014-12-10
Packaged: 2018-02-28 20:56:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2746769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceralynn/pseuds/ceralynn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mac complains about Dennis' participation in <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzfS1w3F6KY">this</a> video made to pick up chicks</p>
            </blockquote>





	Phindin' Love in Philly

"Yeah, nice _fucking_ job, Dennis."

"What are you talking about? I thought the video went great."

Mac slammed the apartment door behind them, tearing his coat off like a fitful child. "Great? _Really_?!" He slung it over the guitar case. "Dennis, what girl is gonna go on a date with me knowing you're gonna be watching if we bang?!"

Dennis shrugged, sinking casually into the sofa and examining his pristine fingernails. "Girls who are into that kind of thing. Aren't you always about lowering your standards to get laid?"

"This is different." He paced to the chair next to Dennis. "There aren't gonna be any girls to lower my standards for. Dennis, they're gonna think we're—"

A smile was creeping across Dennis' lips and Mac couldn't help but notice, his whole face opening up with shock.

"You sabotaged me. You bastard, you sabotaged me!!"

"Oh, I did not."

"You totally fucking sabotaged me!"

"You sabotaged yourself, if anything."

"You are an asshole. You are a _complete_ asshole."

"Oh come on. Like what we have isn't working out?"

Mac's features tightened. He didn't like to reference it, think about it, or even verbalise it, but they'd been sleeping together. For a couple months now, actually. He had no fear of Dennis ratting them out; he had nothing to gain and just as much to lose from Frank or Dee or—God forbid—Charlie ever finding out. But months of fucking Dennis, specifically, fucking only Dennis, was making it increasingly difficult for Mac to convince himself he was straight.

"You know what? It's not. Not anymore." Mac thrust himself down into the chair, arms folded.

"..what do you mean?"

"I mean, I'm done. I'm done having sex with you."

Dennis' mouth opened wordlessly for a few moments. "Aw, come on, dude, you're being a baby about this."

"Suck my dick."

"You're being irrational!"

"I mean it, Dennis," Mac forced himself to maintain eye contact. "Suck my dick, and I'll fuck you again."

Dennis felt his cheeks turning red. Mac adamently refused to engage in dirty talk—or talk of any kind, really—during any sexual exploit. Hearing him give what was more or less a command, and with such out-of-character confidence.. Dennis couldn't believe he was considering it.

"Dude."

"Only way it's gonna happen, Den." Mac stretched lazily back into the chair, folding his hands behind his neck. "Take it or leave it."

Dennis glanced from Mac's face to crotch about a dozen times, lips pouting and pursing as if in physical protest.

"We will never talk about this again, okay?"

Mac smiled. "On your knees, bitch."

Glaringly, reluctantly, Dennis sank down to his knees. "And don't call me 'bitch'."

"Oooh, no no no." Mac ran a hand through Dennis' short curls. "This is _my_ apology blow job, and it's gonna go down exactly how I want it to."

Dennis heard the button of Mac's jeans snap open and felt, gently, Mac's fingertips pushing him down.

"Pull the zipper down with your teeth."

Dennis was beginning to hate how he felt when Mac spoke like that. He usually had so much control in these situations; Mac was the white trash, desperate closet-case, Dennis was the irresistable siren. He was not used to being talked down to like a whore, and it was not at all something he wanted to be aroused by.

"Come on, dude."

"Hey, if you wanna half-ass this, I'm just gonna make you do it again."

"Again?! You're lucky I'm doing this in the first place!"

Dennis felt Mac's grip on his hair tighten slightly.

"No, Dennis." Again, perfect, difficult eye contact. "You're lucky I'm nice enough to let you redeem yourself like this. Now I'm not gonna say it again: pull the zipper down with your teeth."

Dennis couldn't believe it. He was getting a boner from this.

"O.. okay," he said. "Okay, man, just.. o-okay."

Slowly, nervously, Dennis lowered his face, catching the zipper between his teeth and pulling himself gently backward, realising this was probably the most intimate they'd ever been while on speaking terms. In fact, as Dennis thought about it (and Mac was kind enough to pull it out), he'd never gotten a good view of Mac's dick before this moment. Notably, visibly bigger than he was, which wracked Dennis with the barest pang of insecurity despite the weeks of soreness that had already informed him of the likelihood of this being the case.

"It's great, I know, but it's not gonna suck itself."

Dennis' eyes darted back up to Mac, indignance shimmering behind them, but he knew any protest would get shot down immediately and was truly afraid whatever Mac said next would make him ruin his jeans. Instead, he focused all the disapproval that he could into his expression, then leaned down, shut his eyes, and took Mac in as far as he could, trying his hardest to imitate the girls he'd never watched.

Mac let his head loll back into the cushioning of the chair, grinning almost stupidly. In a way, it was very much like seducing an inexperienced high school girl. Dennis had done this before—Mac was confident of that—but probably never sober, and definitely—probably—never while being told exactly what to do and how to do it.

"Mmm.. down a bit more, Den. I know you can go deeper than that."

Dennis obliged, frankly embarrassed by the weakness of his gag reflex.

"And use your tongue more, you gotta swirl it a bit, kinda like—Oh! Oh, yeah, like that. Exactly like that."

A small part of Dennis was reeling with shame, wishing he'd downed a bottle of Jack or Tequila or anti-freeze to securely unglue this experience from his long term memory. But another, smaller (Dennis hoped) part of him knew he'd use this as masturbation material for weeks, maybe months. Mac would never, _ever_ talk him into this again, but with that tone of voice, Mac could probably talk him into anything else.

_And he probably will_ , Dennis thought with a shudder only halfway inspired by fear.

"Ooh, shit, Dennis.." Mac was practically gasping. "For someone who n-never does this, you really know how to do it.."

Mac picked his head up, watching Dennis hazily through his eye lashes. He desperately wanted a camera.

"Such good lips for it, too." Mac fussed aimlessly with Dennis' hair. "I don't think I've ever been sucked off by a girl with nicer lips.."

Normally, Dennis would attribute such a thing to Mac's aforementioned lack of standards but at that moment, he really couldn't help being shamefully flattered.

"You've got some real talent there, Den," Mac smiled, watching Dennis' blush spread to the tips of his ears.

Mac let Dennis continue in silence as Mac was, for the first time that night, nervous to demand exactly what he wanted. It would probably end the whole thing in a matter of seconds, but this was almost certainly the only chance he'd ever get.

"Den," he breathed. "Look at me for a sec."

Dennis' crystalline blue eyes flashed up at him, emphasised by the pink of his cheeks. He was nowhere near the cool, collected, borderline-sociopath Mac was used to. On the contrary, this was probably the most vulnerable he'd ever seen Dennis, so methodically concerned about pleasing him, esteem weighing entirely on his reactions..

Mac shut his eyes tight. He'd been right; a few seconds was being generous.

"A-alright Dennis, faster. I'm close. I-I'm getting really close."

Not a second later, Mac was coming, hard, dissociating from everything except Dennis' mouth and faintly hearing a small cry from Dennis as his hand tried to close into a fist.

Mac slumped back into his seat, panting, eyes still getting used to being open. He realised with dim pride, as Dennis dragged the back of his hand across his mouth, that Dennis had swallowed.

"..so.. was that good?"

Mac opened his eyes. "Hm?"

"Was that—"

Dennis stopped himself, rethinking his words. "Was it okay? Will you fuck me again?"

"Oh, yeah, totally. That was great."

"Great," Dennis sighed in relief, hands diving for the fastening of his own pants.

"Whoa whoa whoa, dude, not now. I'm done for the night."

Dennis whined, "Seriously?"

"Yeah, dude. I couldn't get it up again if I tried."

"Well! I mean.."

"..what?"

Dennis wrung his hands, tried to stop himself. "..do you think you could.. like, I don't know.. return the favor?"

Mac blinked for a second, assessing Dennis' seriousness, then laughed, hard and loud for about a minute and a half straight.

"No, man! N-no, no," he gasped, still struggling to control himself. "No, dude. That'd be totally gay!"

Mac buttoned his pants, still chortling to himself, and stood up, striding blissfully to his own bedroom, Dennis frozen behind him in silent outrage.

"Good night, Den!"


End file.
